Clitheroe v Chasetown

I was very excited to be heading to East Lancashire today to meet up with the Clitheroe massive. I appear to have collected a lot of friends from over this way and was looking forward to seeing them (and drinking beer and watching Chase, obvs). I recalled from my last visit that Clitheroe was a bit hilly (it has a castle and everything) but not as hilly as Colne, where I almost died from overexposure to hills.

Anyway I’m much better at navigating hills now (I can just about manage Steep Hill in Lincoln) but that’s not to say I wasn’t relieved to see there wasn’t much walking at all today, with everywhere I was visiting within close proximity.

Eastbound

First stop Blackpool North, where I was excited to see this at the refreshment kiosk on the concourse.

Obvs that wasn’t Paddington-approved (I prefer banana milk anyway) so this is what I had for breakfast.

When I’m on the train out of Blackpool, I often spend the first half hour of my journey writing. Then, when I get to Preston, all creativity is stifled so I switch to reading. And thus it was today.

‘You’re looking very studious with your glasses,’ said a passing stranger. I mumbled something about my eyes failing me. I’ve never liked wearing glasses (I now need reading glasses on top of being short sighted since I was 7). I’m currently contemplating laser eye surgery, it’s becoming that much of a faff with different types of contact lenses and glasses.

I disembarked at Blackburn, where I had a half-hour wait. I’d ruled out exploring Blackburn to kill this time and was pleased to see there was a waiting room on the station.

Meanwhile let’s play the vending machine game. What would you have from each row? I’m going for the Prawn Cocktail, the Thai Sweet Chilli, KitKat, Peanut M&Ms, 7Up Zero and a bottle of water.

I had the waiting room to myself and it was quite a surreal experience. A man’s voice would intermittently emanate from the speaker.

‘Welcome to Blackburn. It’s nice to see you, to see you nice.’

‘Help! Help!’

And there was some whistling of football chants. All very quirky and it made my wait rather interesting. Although it made me wonder if I was being watched and the announcements were being directed at me. It was all a bit Candid Camera.

Soon enough, my train to Clitheroe arrived. As I boarded, I checked Twitter, where I saw that my favourite Sutton United fan was stuck on a packed train on the way to Bradford. I responded with a photo of my empty train. Non league football is the future for people like me who don’t like crowds.

On arrival in Clitheroe, I made my way to a caff that had been recommended by my local correspondent and friend Joe, who used to work there. En route I saw a LOT of panda cars. Had I entered a hotbed of crime? I reassured myself that they were all parked up outside the police station, so that likely meant the opposite.

Ooh cobbled streets!

Blueberries

It was busy busy in here when I arrived – a sign of a good caff – but I was prepared to sit at one of the tables outside as it was a lovely day. Happily, I spotted a vacant table indoors and claimed it immediately, putting my coat over the back of the chair, before heading to the counter to order.

One of my bugbears in life is people who leave massive gaps in queues. Indeed I’m writing this blog in such a queue at Blackpool North station. I’m not sure if this is a post-COVID six-feet-apart thing but for fuck’s sake people, tighten up those queues! If I see a ridiculously big gap I’ll just go and stand in it and fill the gap because, in my mind, that’s not a fucking queue, it’s a gap. No-one ever complains. Perhaps the person behind me even takes a few paces back, who knows?

Anyway, there was such a gap at the counter here and I wasn’t sure if it was a queue or not. A friendly local quickly cleared this up.

‘He’s not in’t queue – he’s just cluttering’t place up.’

Ordering my breakfast (a small full English type thing, which is my default), I was asked a surprising question.

‘Toast or fried bread?’

Well that stumped me! When had I last seen fried bread on a menu, let alone had it? My brain quickly whirred, under pressure to make a decision. I knew Paddington wouldn’t want me to have the fried bread but FRIED BREAD THOUGH!!! Obvs I went for the fried bread. I loved Clitheroe already.

As I am wont to do when I’m on my own, I found myself earwigging on conversations around me. It’s not a deliberate snoopy thing, more that I’m in observation mode for the blog and my senses are heightened. A loud woman at the far side of the caff was regaling tales of Australia and I was tickled at her pronunciation of ‘Melburn’. Love an East Lancashire accent, me. And I can understand it now, thanks to my ear being tuned into Joe (see my last visit to Clitheroe, where I could not figure out what the waitress was offering me).

Well that was a belting start to the day. Suitably sustained it was now time for…well you know me well enough by now, dear reader…

En route to (yes, you’ve guessed it) the pub, I strolled through the market, which looked most interesting. I do like a good market these days, since my visit to Chorley opened my eyes to them.

New Inn

My list of pubs today contained all of Clitheroe’s Good Beer Guide entries. This one is a proper traditional boozer and here are the beers.

A man sitting at the bar kindly moved his drink out of the way for me to take a pic. Love these locals.

After some consideration, I selected an empty room to sit in. I know it’s not great for observation purposes but I like being on my own sometimes.

I was soon joined in the room by an old man who equally enjoyed his own company, as he sat quietly munching on a cheese and onion barm, supping his pint and reading the paper. I recalled a time back when I was a (rock n roll) teenager and used to read the Sunday papers in the pub. God, have I always been middle aged? Is that why I never liked nightclubs?

Just as I stepped out of the pub to make my way to the next destination on my itinerary (not a pub – ha! foiled you there!), I bumped into Lisa and Stu, my Hotpotting friends, who had come to join me for the remainder of the day. They are from Blackburn (remember me drinking Baileys from a Lindt bunny in their shed?) and I love their company, hence reaching out to them to meet up today. It couldn’t fail to be a good day with these two in tow.

Cowman’s Famous Sausage Shop

I don’t remember how I heard about this place but was very pleased to have remembered at the last minute to add it to my itinerary. It has ALL the sausages. Sausages beyond your wildest dreams. I mean, check this out for a sausage menu.

I also went for the Moroccan Lamb sausages because I had something similar in The Old Contemptibles once (back when it was a speciality sausages pub) and they were lush. I enjoyed these this week and can confirm they also had a nice kick at the end. These were fine sausages indeed.

A nice touch was the samples of sausages on the counter which I only noticed on the way out but of course tucked in anyway.

The Ale House

This micropub was new to Clitheroe since my last visit. It also came recommended AND is in the GBG so obvs I wasn’t going to miss it.

This was a belter of a micro for many reasons but mainly this.

I read the Beano religiously every week until I was 21 and was interested to see how it had changed in the (obvs not very many ahem) intervening years. Truth be told, I wanted to sit and read it cover to cover but I had company now and that would have been rude. If only I’d had it in the New Inn! I briefly flirted with the idea of taking it away with me to read later but that didn’t sit right. Perhaps they’d have let me take it if I’d thought to ask? That works with pint glasses when I find one I don’t want to let go. And of course I could just buy one myself from the newsagents, couldn’t I? Anyway, I made do with a cursory flick through, noting many old favourites.

Ooh look – a free newspaper!

Anyway, you’ll be wanting to know about the beers, right?

Untappd informs me that I had the Wensleydale Falconer.

I didn’t actually notice this until we were on the way out, otherwise I’d have been all over it. Having subsequently tried a Vault City Iron Brew, I can now confirm that I won’t be trying it again. I was sick off Tizer once (a not dissimilar drink). Also it’s more like an alcopop than a beer. I don’t actually mind an alcopop every now and then (if forced) and indeed used to drink a lot of them before I got into ale. But this was all kinds of wrong for me.

Lisa had a present for me:

The lightning symbol is moveable up and down the scale to indicate how sociable you’re feeling. Frankly, I’d been on the rums in Turtle Bay the night before…

…plus I’d just spent the morning on my own and it can take me a little while to adjust to being in company after time spent alone (see: wanting to sit and read the Beano on arrival here). Indeed, I once met a friend in the pub after spending all day at home alone and explained I was a bit quiet because I sometimes needed this period of adjustment. She (jokingly) suggested maybe we could sit at separate tables and text each other for a bit and I actually considered it.

Anyway, back to my social battery. The above image reflects where I was at this point. I knew it would quickly move into the green as the afternoon progressed and the beer flowed.

I liked this pub a lot, despite it having heat lamps in an internal room which I thought was a bit odd. No: quirky. And I like quirky.

Now it was time to move on to the second micro and third GBG tick of the day.

The Beer Shack

Now this micro was home to the most exciting beer of the day.

Here we were joined by my pal Jess, who lives in Clitheroe. From my experience, this is a fine town for good people and I was collecting many of them on my travels today (I haven’t finished yet – the day is yet young!).

The music in here was a particular treat and included this tune, which I’d not heard in yonks.

I engaged in SlimmingWorld chat with the girls and was rueing my fried bread selection for breakfast until Lisa pointed out that it could be considered a healthy extra on the plan (we get a daily fibre allowance). I thought she was probably pushing it a bit there but, now a few beers down, I was quite willing to accept it as such.

Right – now it was time for that #LooReview I know you’ve been waiting for.

During our time here, I’d been looking out for Joe’s dad, who I understood frequents Beer Shack. I’d never met him before but Joe had sent me a photo. I also had Jess as a lookout (as she had already met him). There was a lookalike but sadly no Joe’s dad on the scene today. Boo!

Right – now let’s say goodbye to Jess and head off to the match!

Clitheroe v Chasetown

As we queued(!) to get in, I was recognised:

‘Were you secretary at Chasetown?’

This was Chris, who was my counterpart at Clitheroe back in the day when I was working at Chase.

We then narrowly avoided being hit by a ball that came flying out of the ground and into the car park.

I had briefed Lisa and Stu that I was not intending on drinking in the ground today, having overindulged on the alcohol at my last Chase match (it can be a dangerous business this being allowed to drink during the match).

‘So, what is it you’re not drinking in here?’ enquired Lisa, as she approached the bar.

‘Hen Harrier,’ I quickly replied as I darted off to the loo.

Obvs there was a Hen Harrier waiting for me on my re-emergence from the Ladies.

Meanwhile Lisa was ALL OVER the club shop, which was situated within the bar – and could not resist buying this magnificent tee.

Outside, Chris had hinted that the ground had changed a lot since my previous visit in 2019. Well they hadn’t levelled the pitch, which remained one of the wonkiest I’ve ever seen. I’m not saying that I’m not observant, but the only change I noticed was this new bar.

We stood here for a bit until the rain got too much, at which point we took cover under the shelter of the roof. And, lo and behold, who was standing directly behind us? Only Joe’s dad! I didn’t take a pic of him to show you (soz) but he did take this one of me (shush about the Hen Harrier).

He also pointed out the excellent view, which included the three local landmarks of the castle, the church and the cement works.

It is compulsory for me to complete a full circuit of any non league ground in order to absorb the full effect and quirkiness. Here’s what I spotted.

Also on our circuit of the ground, I managed to locate Ian (another Clitheroe native). Ian is a beermat collector and I have been known to collect some for him on my travels. I had brought my collection today to hand over to him (I had instructions to leave them in Beer Shack if I hadn’t found him). It was good to catch up briefly.

Stu complained profusely as a short corner was being taken and I pointed out that technically (according to some book my pal Adam read) short corners are the most effective. Right on cue, Clitheroe scored from said short corner.

I will not dwell on the match, which was ruined for Chase by an early dismissal for Luke McGinnell. Clitheroe were 4-0 up until injury time, when Langy scored a consolation penalty. Whilst matters on the pitch were less than enjoyable, the opposite can be said of the company, which was excellent and made for a great afternoon at the match.

Now it was time to head to a place we’d been curious about on the way here – and that Joe’s dad had heartily recommended to us at the match.

Georgonzola

Ok, full disclosure: I was a bit leathered by the time I got here. All I can remember is BEER (I actually think I drank water here?) and CHEESE. It’s basically a deli where you can eat and drink in. And I am all for this sort of thing. As were Lisa and Stu. We heartily tucked into the below.

Joe’s dad made a cameo appearance but I have no idea what we talked about. My notes remind me that there was a Preston fan in here. The remainder of the review of this place will have to come in the form of photos (well done, Past Me, for having the foresight to take these).

But we still had a pub to go to before signing off for the night…

Bowland Beer Hall

I had been warned by Ian that it got busy in here post match, so I’d made a point of pre-booking a table. We arrived earlier than advertised, which seemed to annoy our hosts, so we began a circuit of the MASSIVE island bar to see what caught our eye. I stopped at this one, which did not disappoint.

My last blog about this place made one reader VERY angry. He could not believe that it had 38 different beers on hand pump – despite me listing them all (I told you the bar was massive). So tonight I made a point of photographing every page of the beer board by way of evidence.

Fucking stood there for ages taking these photos and STILL missed page 9 of 11 grr.

We were at last seated and were soon joined by fellow Seasider Mark, another local. He’d been to his first Clitheroe match today and I had completely missed him at the ground.

We were dining here tonight and here’s what we had.

As we exited the pub, there was some palaver about Lisa and Stu’s house keys, which they thought they’d lost but I think were in Lisa’s pocket all along.

Westbound

Hmm, bit of a blur, no notes. I think Lisa and Stu were on the train with me as far as Blackburn. I vaguely recall having their sausages in my rucksack and they reeked of garlic. I appear to have got home safely. Note to self (again!): try HARDER not to drink during matches. But what a fun day that was…

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Next up: Wigan Beer Festival.