Doncaster Pubs

I’m loving having the freedom to travel to places I actually want to go to these days. Looking for a destination to meet Sarah that resolutely wasn’t Shitby Whitby, I contemplated the map for somewhere appealing midway between us (I’m in Blackpool, Sarah’s in Barton on Humber). Donny leapt out at me – I love Donny and haven’t been in way too long – and happily Sarah concurred. I had the itinerary planned weeks in advance.

Sarah messaged me the night before with some concerns about Storm Babet, which I’d been oblivious to, as I don’t watch the news. Our transport appeared to be unaffected so I wasn’t too worried.

On Friday morning I enjoyed wrapping myself up in my jumper, big coat and woolly hat before heading out into what appeared to me to be regular Northern weather.

At Blackpool North station, I headed to the refreshment kiosk to pick up an Earl Grey (black, bag removed).

I took a seat with my brew and settled back to do a bit of writing while I waited for the train. A man standing behind me yelled to someone across the station to ask if they wanted a sausage roll. For breakfast!

Eastbound

My journey to Donny was to take three hours, with a change at Leeds. I really wanted to focus on my book, with the intention of getting my first draft completed by the end of the year, so I devised a plan within my Morning Pages and then quickly set to work on a chapter I had been stuck on. Writing a book is tough but I’m learning so much about the process as I go: the discipline, planning, structuring, thinking time, freewriting, editing, research – and of course the spreadsheets, which I love for everything. I’m confident that future books will come easier, now I’m finding my rhythm. And please stop and think before you say ‘oh, haven’t you been writing a book for YEARS?’ because that doesn’t help me mentally. Yes, it has been years since I started this one. I completed my Shitty First Draft during lockdown. Now I’m rewriting with an actual theme and making it as good as it can possibly be for you, dear reader. It will be completed next year because that’s in the plan – and I have other projects to be getting on with.

That done, I set about Tweeting about the curry I’d factored in and was very much looking forward to. I wasn’t about to be disappointed like I had been at Hebden Bridge, when I’d spent all day looking forward to a curry that wasn’t even on the fucking menu. I then felt a shard of ice in my belly. I’d forgotten to book a table at Masons Arms for tea! I got onto it instantly, hoping I wouldn’t be too late.

This called for a frantic search for somewhere to go for tea. Shit! Shit! Right. I consulted the CAMRA Good Beer Guide app and searched by pubs serving food. This led me to the Mallard, a Hungry Horse in the Food Court in Frenchgate Shopping Centre. Ooh a food court? What else did they have? Ooh Cosmo World Kitchen – one of those buffet places. I checked out the Food Hygiene Rating, which was decent.

I updated Sarah and she said she’d forgotten her reading glasses so I started typing in capitals.

Sarah kept trying to tell me something about the market and I said we were headed up that way anyway for a couple of pubs, so we could check out the food options at the market while we were up there. We wouldn’t starve – but would I get my curry?

I changed trains at Leeds and had just enough time for a trip to the Ladies but not enough to find another brew on an unfamiliar station.

On the train from Leeds to Donny, I’d hit my writing target for the day, so I sat back and gazed out of the train window to decompress. There were hundreds, thousands of autumn leaves tearing past the window. Looked like the weather was getting up.

I hopped off the train in Donny and looked around for the exit, hoping I’d find Sarah somewhere along the way. Happily, I heard her calling my name down the platform and we were soon off to our first stop of the day…Poundland for some reading glasses. I suggested we leave the station through the shopping centre as it was a bit wet out. This proved to be a stroke of genius because LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS!!!

As we trotted along, Sarah told me a story with the caveat that I wasn’t to put it in the blog as she was concerned that she’d been coming across as a geek in my previous blogs (see Wigan and Lincoln). But I loved learning about rainfall and gooseberries and I hoped she would continue to be her usual entertaining self and this trepidation would wear off as we relaxed into the day because I loved Sarah exactly as she was.

In Poundland we were excited to find reading glasses on offer at three pairs for £3, so Sarah dealt on two pairs of fetching pink glasses and one pair of sunglasses. I remarked that she was probably the only person buying a pair of sunglasses in the middle of a storm.

We headed out into Storm Babet and both agreed that we liked this sort of weather because at least you know what to wear.

The Leopard

A whoomph of toastiness hit us as soon as we entered The Leopard. That was a grand start. We were greeted equally warmly by our friendly host. Right – what to drink?

I really wanted the porter but 6.5% is not a sensible start to a crawl, so I opted for the blonde.

I was blown away by the fridge, which I didn’t allow myself to look too closely at; I could see from the side that it contained some of my favourite breweries.

Our host pointed out the excellent alcohol free range in the fridge behind the bar. They even had Fierce in there.

This pub made the list because it was perfectly situated for lunch – and the menu was inexpensive.

I commandeered a pair of Sarah’s glasses to help me read the menu.

The difference was incredible – the writing was so much clearer, it was like looking through a magnifying glass. Sarah took the piss out of me for making an excited ‘ooh!’ every time I put them on but these readers had opened up a whole new world for me. I hadn’t realised how bad my near vision had got; I just thought my eyes were tired all the time, resulting in the blurriness of words. Sarah also remarked that we must look like a couple of lesbians with our matching glasses.

The highlight for me from the above was the BBQ sauce. I also learned that I don’t like Halloumi Fries.

Dear reader, I fell in love with The Leopard today. I could happily have stayed in here all day. I may well do so on a future visit to Donny, as it’s now my new favourite in town. The pub and welcome were warm, the beer and food were great, there’s entertainment, it’s a proper pub and it’s well handy for the station. If it had a pubcat I’d probably be moving to Donny.

But move on we must, as this was an exploratory mission this afternoon. With lunch ticked off, it was time to – ahem – plough ahead.

Little Plough

I went for the blackberry porter but it was sickly sweet and I was glad I only had a half so I could neck it. I should, of course, have had the Barnsley Bitter, a regular here – and one of my favourite beers when I first saw sense and switched from lager.

I was surprised when our hostess said it was cash only. It took me a moment to register that I did have some fanzine money in my purse so I was able to pay for the round. The fanzine money has run out though so, if you would like to top up my beer fund, details of how to subscribe can be found by following this link.

We headed out to the beer garden for a mooch.

The highlight of the interior for me was the pub’s collection of teapots.

There was an interesting football shirt on the wall but no pic because it was mounted in a glass case and their reflective nature doesn’t make for good photos.

I picked up a copy of the local CAMRA mag.

And then we headed to the pub next door.

Tut n Shive

T’Tut was our Pub of Choice in Donny for many years. We’d visit either side of matches at Donny, Rotherham and Sheffield, we loved it that much.

The Old Pec was tempting but I went for the Deuchars – another traditional favourite of mine from yesteryear, and one I don’t see often these days.

Traditionally, we’d sit in the window, but those tables were occupied today, so instead we sat in this odd seat – which we soon realised from the aroma was by the toilets.

Sarah regaled me with tales of her pet chickens, including all their names, a video of them and details of the current rivalry that has resulted in them being on strike from laying eggs.

We moved onto the subject of Fuck It Rupert – Sarah’s bad influence equivalent of Paddington (see Wigan blog). She chuckled as she told me about having a cardboard cut out of Rupert made to watch the Wigan Warriors matches during lockdown. I don’t know where Sarah has been all my life but I’m very pleased to have her in it now. We are kindred spirits.

Right – time to move on…

Doncaster Brewery Tap

This place smelled of, well, a brewery – reminiscent of the delicious air I breathed in many a morning when I lived within sniffing distance of Highgate Brewery (RIP) back in the day.

I was beginning to feel the beer a bit now – and these all looked a bit strong. But there were more beers to be found…

We headed upstairs to a separate bar called Dystopia.

I was desperate for a wee at the point, so panic-ordered a third of the Vault City Blueberry Pumpkin Spice despite its strength because I couldn’t NOT have that, could I?

These sofas looked comfy but we weren’t allowed to sit there because they were reserved for the local Shakespeare society.

They were already late but I was dying for them to turn up so we could observe their meeting.

Sarah broke the news that beer festivals in Sheffield and York had been called off owing to the storm. The weather must really be getting up. It just seemed like a regular Northern autumn day to me.

Sarah also filled me in on this pub, confirming we had been greeted by the brewer’s wife downstairs and their son was manning this upstairs bar. She was excited to return here for the forthcoming barley wine festival which sounded like something that would probably kill me. Was I getting too sensible in sticking to lower ABV beers, I pondered, as I sipped my 8.5%er. Happily not.

Alas, we left before the Shakespeare society arrived. I may schedule my next visit to coincide with a future meeting. But we still had pubs to visit and I was keen to edge closer to some food to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Hallcross

A wall of music hit us immediately on entering the doorway of Hallcross. We trotted in and approached the bar which was so ridiculously tall that I felt like even more of a midget.

Ordinarily I’d have plumped straight for the plum porter but I noted it was the same brewery as the too-sweet beer from earlier. Our host told us about the Stocks beers, which were brewed especially for the pub, from recipes found in the pub. I went for the Old Horizontal – a 5.3% Strong Ale (oops).

This was the view from our seat towards the front of the pub.

There was lots of interesting stuff to look at here, from gig posters to train timetables to old football programmes. More of this sort of thing.

It’s funny how writing my book brings things from the past into the present.

I really was getting peckish again now so we scurried off in search of the next pub. En route, Sarah received a call from her friend Donny Dave, who she arranged to meet at our next stop.

The Queen Crafthouse & Kitchen

This is a large open-plan pub with a Day of the Dead vibe and I loved it instantly.

But now to the beer.

It had to be Bad Kitty, of course.

It was lovely to meet Donny Dave, who I learned was a reader of my blog.

I’d have happily stayed in here and explored and enjoyed the pub further, but it really was time for scran now.

The Wool Market

This was the market foody place that Sarah had been trying to describe to me all day. Wowzers! It was exactly the kind of place I love.

But now for food. And where to start?!

It had to be curry, of course, so I swooped across to Indian Food Hawker and contemplated the menu.

Ohh yes yes yes! How could I resist TWO curries?

Sarah ordered a curry herself from a different vendor and we were each presented with a contraption that would alert us when our food was ready.

Despite being served on a prison tray, this was the BEST Indian food I’d had in…well, living memory. The Chicken Jalfrezi was sensational.

Aside from having good beer and fucking amazing food, this vibrant market also had a games section for the kool kids to hang out.

Not only is there bowling and darts but there’s also my favourite game shuffleboard. Read all about it (with video) here.

I love love loved it here – and it’s definitely my new Donny go to for food. But Dave and Sarah were panicking about the trains so we decided to head to the micropub on the station where we could assess the train sitch and be perfectly situated to board a train as and when one turned up. We said our goodbyes to Donny Dave and trotted across to the station.

The Draughtsman Alehouse

I love that this place is situated on the actual platform I need to get the train home.

I had the Abbeydale Twilight Pilgrim (pumpkin beer).

Dear reader, it was a good job we were here an hour earlier than scheduled, as we were advised it was closing at 6pm for a private party. Bah!

When we reluctantly left – as the pub was now otherwise empty and we didn’t want to be thrown out – we sought out the departure boards to see if we could get home. Sarah squeed when she noticed a train to Hull appear from nowhere at the top of the screen, scheduled to depart from Platform 0 almost immediately. I naturally assumed that Platform 0 wasn’t a thing but Sarah seemed convinced it was at the other end of the station from where we were so I followed her, still unconvinced that Platform 0 was a real thing.

I was getting a bit afraid for Sarah now. How and why had this mystery train to Hull appeared from nowhere? Was Platform 0 like Platform 9 ³/₄ from Harry Potter? Was it really going to Hull or was it destined for some parallel universe? I continued to follow behind her but I hadn’t been to the gym in ages and, struggling up these steps, soon realised my fitness was woefully lacking. My huffing and puffing and general laggardliness slowed Sarah down such that she missed this surely non-existent train and I can’t say I wasn’t relieved that she hadn’t boarded the train to what might actually have been Hell.

We eventually found trains to take us home so we said our goodbyes and headed off in different directions.

Westbound

Aboard the train to Manchester Piccadilly, I cracked open my alcohol free Kir Royale and called up the latest episode of Big Brother on ITV Player. Annoyingly, it kept buffering, which became frustrating, but I persisted anyway.

At Piccadilly, I had a short wait before boarding my connecting train home to Blackpool North. I think I managed just one full episode of Big Brother across the entire journey.

In conclusion, Donny’s pubs were a fine reflection of the town itself, being full of character and fab, and it had been a Very Good Food Day. Donny, I promise I won’t leave it as long until the next time.

Next Up: Best Blackpool Boozers #5.