A Football Tourist’s Guide to Stockport – Part Two

We’ve done all the touristy stuff in Part One, so let’s check out the pubs!

But first we’ve got to get there – and there’s plenty to see en route.

Martin insisted we check out Natwest Bank which puzzled me but I trust his judgement so followed him inside.

We were each asked in turn if we needed any help but we confessed we were just in there to admire the building.

Anyway we’re all getting thirsty now, so lets continue on.

As we bimbled through Stockport, Martin asked how my book was coming along. I said I was considering serialising it on my blog.

‘Ooh – like Dickens!’

‘Exactly that – he’s my inspiration.’

The above was snapped as a random sticker but, on scrolling through a draft version of this blog with a friend who used to live in Stockport, he drew my attention to the fact that Stockport Pints is a thing. Bookmark their website and Insta and check out more Stockport pubs if you’re still thirsty once you’re finished here.

Swan With Two Necks

Huzzah! We’re at the first pub of the trip. To the bar!

I’ve only just noticed that Old Tom only has one eye (or is he winking?). I don’t often enough stop to consider the names of beers but it is lovely to see the old brewery cat immortalised here. Bonus points to Stockport for that. But of course it’s WAY too early on in the crawl for an 8.5%er (it would finish Christine off later) so let’s see what else they’ve got on.

Now let’s take a look around and find out exactly why Martin was so keen to come here.

This, of course, is the Swan with Two Necks per the name of the pub. But is also has two heads. So why not the Swan with Two Heads? I guess it’s a more palatable image than a Swan with One Head and Two Necks. In that case, would one of the necks have a stump? Or would they both lead to the one head? This sounds like a question for an AI image generator but I’m too scared to generate this. Let’s stick with the above image and just accept that’s how it is.

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit to this little gem of a pub, which was a belting start to the crawl. But there are lots and lots of pubs to visit today (and tomorrow) so let’s head on…

The Magnet

I fell in love with this pub on my previous visit with Martin and Christine during a heatwave (and after a curry) when it was actually quite hard to drink at all, but I wanted ALL the beers. Speaking of which, lets take a look what they have on today.

Wot no Bathams? I went for Things Behind The Sun. I had never heard of Makemake brewery so I looked them up. It’s a microbrewery with a taproom in Portsmouth, apparently, so I have no idea how it made its way up here – although I am glad it did because it was lush. And that’s another great addition to the already thriving Pompey beer scene.

I was on a crawl today so alas my time in Stockport’s finest was limited but next time I am determined to stay here for a proper sesh.

The Midland Pub

This place is just down from the Magnet and we were about to walk past when Karen piped up:

‘Let’s go in here!’

I like Karen when she’s got her drinking head on.

We offered a token and weak remonstration. This pub wasn’t in the GBG or on our list or even our radar but, at times like this, I hear my friend and fellow pub/football blogger Evo’s voice telling me:

‘Never walk past a pub.’

So in we headed. And what a treat it was!

The above pump clip excited Martin and sparked conversation with the gaffer. I let them get on with it as I’ve not been drinking beer long enough to remember this one but more of this in Martin’s blog here.

This pub just oozed character (and characters) and I love that in a pub; it’s what they are all about and what they are for.

By the time we’d absorbed our surroundings and settled into our seats, we got to chatting about old beers from yesteryear. Martin reminisced about Watneys which apparently you needed a can opener to get into. I’ve just looked this up and found this on Etsy from a seller who also sources rare Ethiopian stamps. I don’t know what Etsy is but it sounds like I need to. I used to collect stamps when I was little. I guess they’re becoming rarer these days, with the invention of electronic mail and decline of the postal service. Perhaps I should have kept that stamp album?

I haven’t mentioned that every pub in Stockport today greeted us with a WOOF of heat on entering. This reminded me of Colwyn Bay (hmm I must go back there) and Doncaster, where I experienced the same phenomenon. Anyway, back out into the weather (remarkably for Stockport it was not raining or snowing – this is not how i remember it from the football in the 90s).

Runaway Brewery Tap Room

I got told off by more than one person for not visiting this place on my last visit so made sure it was included today to see what all the fuss was about.

We haven’t had a #LooReview yet, have we? Right then let’s go…

I was starting to feel the beer now but we had more pubs to visit so on we trotted. As we waited to cross the road en route to the next pub on the list (Martin was in charge today but he knew what was what), Karen piped up again:

‘Let’s go in that pub!’

Again we remonstrated a little but gave in because it was, after all, a pub – and a new one on us. Also we had been surprised and delighted by our last random pub of the day.

The Wellington

Ok first stop: the bar (obvs).

Yet again this turned out to be an absolute treat. I mean look at the place.

The beer garden was full of wonders too.

Back inside…

What a find – cheers Karen!

There were even Blackpool fans in here ahead of tomorrow’s match. I told them they simply HAD to visit the Magnet and I hope they did.

Right. Next!

The Petersgate Tap

Hmm or was this the place I was told off for not visiting last time? Perhaps it was both. Anyway, I was here now.

This place was buzzing and heaving and it was easy to see why. Let’s take a look around.

I can rarely resist a pickled egg. This, I felt, was a sensible and healthy decision as opposed to diving into those beer fridges. I placed my order.

‘Do you want tabasco with that?’

What? Is that a thing? I was confused and scared.

‘No thanks – I’ll have it neat.’

I wish I’d gone for the tabasco now though. Next time!

The pickled egg was just an appetiser because scran was our next mission of the trip.

Foodie Friday

On the last Friday of the month (which this was), a massive food festival lands around the market, bringing people in their droves to enjoy their favourite foods. Check out the link in the heading to find something to whet your appetite and plan your visit to Stockport to coincide with the next Foodie Friday.

For me it’s always going to be curry, so I headed to Chilli’s Indian Street Food. The queue was looooooong but when I need a curry I’m having a curry – plus it was a break from the beers. Further on the plus side (can you see how these antidepressants are working?), I had plenty of time to select what I wanted from the menu. Also, the women behind the counter were singing and dancing away to their music as they worked and it was a joy to watch them enjoying their work. I smiled as I waited.

20 minutes later I had this very briefly in my hands and very quickly in my belly.

By this point we had lost Martin and Christine but I wasn’t too concerned because I knew exactly where Martin would be wanting to go next. I managed to get hold of Christine on the phone and she confirmed my suspicions so we headed to the pub in question.

Arden Arms

We’d attempted to come here for lunch (twice). On our first visit, we were told it was full and to return later. When we returned later, it was still full. So it’s popular for food. And seemingly you can’t book (Martin refuses to anyway as it restricts your movements, which I do understand). Happily, it is easier to grab a drink here and that was the purpose of our evening visit. This was on Martin’s list of Must Visit pubs, hence the third attempt of the day (I would have given up at two) and hence me knowing this would be where Martin was heading. Anyway, let’s get a drink, shall we?

Happily, by the time we had arrived, Martin and Christine had located and bagged a table in the still-very-busy pub, so we were able to take a seat with our beers.

I understood exactly why Martin was so determined that I visit this place. We were soon engrossed in deep conversation with a man at the next table, who had accidentally (hmm) ordered himself two pints of Old Tom (8.5%) because he had forgotten his son wasn’t drinking with him tonight. I just love pubs where you get chatting with randomers. My most memorable New Year was seen in playing Cards Against Humanity with complete strangers in Katz in Walsall. Indeed it was strangers (rather new friends) that made my recent (future for you, dear reader) crawl of Crewe so special. Anyway our new (temporary) friend in the Arden Arms tonight engaged us in conversation about the cost of living crisis and almost in the same breath complained about cheap supermarket beers, which seemed a paradox and a solution of sorts but at the same time I knew what he meant. He began comparing the UK to Finland, where it has become too expensive to drink. Indeed I recalled from a trip to Estonia – ooh must be over 10 years ago now – when we met up with some Finns in the Depeche Mode bar in Tallinn; they had taken the ferry across from Finland to Estonia because it was cheaper to drink over there. Is that why flying to Benidorm for a night out is a thing (I know someone who actually does this)?

This was one of those pubs I really didn’t want to leave BUT this was a research crawl mission, so I wanted to cram in as many pubs as possible so I’d know which ones to revisit when I came back. So on we moved.

The Cracked Actor

I’m not sure this pub was actually on the list but we couldn’t walk past.

This little pub was HEAVING on our arrival so let’s consider the beer board before we worry about where/if we are going to sit.

There was SO much to look at in such a tiny pub. Let me show you around.

Obvs I needed to undertake a #LooReview here! I knew I was in for a treat but my goodness I could have stayed in here all night! Alas there was only one toilet servicing the whole pub so I had to make my photography snappy (see what I did there?), mindful of the queue outside.

This is the toilet wallpaper:

They do like newspapers in toilets in Stockport. Do you remember they had newspaper as toilet paper in the Air Raid Shelters in Part One of this Football Tourist Guide to Stockport?

The above candle holder immediately brought Wee Willie Winkie to mind. Indeed, if you Google ‘Wee Willie Winkie candle holder’ this is exactly the kind of thing you’ll find, so it’s not just me.

I was still up for doing more pubs but the Old Tom had taken its toll on Christine (I had thought a pint of it was ambitious) so we headed back to our hotel. En route we spotted this artwork.

And we took a diversion to check out this place in the dark.

On so many occasions across this weekend, I found myself so engrossed in my surroundings – in the moment – that I had to stop and think ‘where am I?’. I was in a magnificent town crammed with culture and so much to immerse myself in that I could have been anywhere in Europe. This was Stockport. Really? It exceeded any expectations I might have had as to what to expect. A suburb of Manchester? Absolutely not! It is a very special place indeed – and I look forward to visiting again very soon. I hope you do the same.

Before you go, please would you vote below to help me make this blog a better experience for you? Ta muchly. And thanks for reading!